Last week I became a father for the third time – so, naturally, I've been meditating on the impact children have on our lives, and on entrepreneurs in particular. Does having a growing family help or hinder the task of expanding a business? Is settling down good for risk-takers? These are vital questions for anyone seeking to make their fortune.
When I was a single man without domestic responsibilities, I believed I possessed a powerful competitive advantage over rivals, who often appeared burdened by the obligations of parenthood. They could take few financial chances in their career, for fear of failing in their role as provider. They also suffered the incessant distractions of clamouring kids, and had to fulfil endless duties as conscientious fathers. For female self-starters the challenges were even more immense. To paraphrase the critic Cyril Connolly, my view was that there is no more sombre enemy of good business than the pram in the hall.
However, like many before me, once I married and became a dad (admittedly fairly late) I changed my tune. Suddenly, I understood that having obligations can act as a spur and a discipline. It can force you to grow up and to seize opportunities – because now there is a compelling reason to do so.
I realised that rearing children is tremendous training for the job of managing staff, and that having a family can help make you a more humane boss. Meanwhile, the encouragement and loyalty of a close family are a wonderful support during the inescapable dips suffered on the rollercoaster journey undertaken by every capitalist.
There are inevitably trade-offs: you cannot be a workaholic and a decent parent. So entrepreneurs – who are usually obsessed by their various schemes – have to learn to delegate better, and become even more efficient in allocating their time. You cannot possibly pursue all the deals you might have done before. And the emotional and financial cost of children is not to be underestimated – either you make career sacrifices or the balancing act will fail.
And there can be innocent casualties if you reach for the stars. Frequently, the children of the self-employed see less of their dad (or mum if she is the go-getter) than if their parent had a nine-to-five job. And entrepreneurs do sometimes go bankrupt. Charles Dickens was psychologically scarred for life at the age of 12 when his father went bust.
Nevertheless, I know an extremely wealthy property speculator who is over 50, unmarried (but heterosexual) and exhibits no inclination to start a family. He worries about gold diggers and the threat of compromise to his selfish playboy lifestyle. He has grown rich by being a contrarian, and no doubt sees family life as a conspiracy to blunt his ambitions and dilute his commercial endeavours.
I look at him and I am reminded of an acquaintance who used to chat up girls half his age in a flashy Chelsea bar I once owned. He was a fiftysomething roué, and I vowed I would never end up a desperate, seedy figure like him; better the joy (and occasional torment) of paternal duties.
Because we all get old. Why struggle to amass riches only to see them dissipated through death duties and passed to distant relatives? Surely it's better to have a partner and blood offspring who will inherit. Personally I do not have dynastic tendencies but, for hundreds of family firms, begetting the next generation of owners is an absolute imperative. I rather admire long-established, family-managed enterprises. There is something wonderfully permanent about their perspective.
After all, who wants to be a lonely millionaire, with no spouse or children to comfort them in their sunset years? To me entrepreneurs create tomorrow for a living, and what better legacy to continue that mission than a child – or even three. As Abraham Lincoln said: “A child is a person who is going to carry on what you have started . . . the fate of humanity is in his hands.” And when a successful self-made citizen becomes a parent, they should surely teach their children the merits of being an entrepreneur.
