Pity the long-suffering Chinese consumer: as if tainted milk were not enough, poisoned swimsuits have now been found polluting the shelves of some of Shanghai’s top-end shopping malls.

According to today’s official Shanghai Daily, some swimsuits and sportswear on display at two of the poshest malls on the city’s swanky Nanjing West shopping street have failed a government quality check, because they could cause skin infections or “damage to the neurosurgical system”.

The Shanghai Industrial and Commercial Administrative Bureau said nearly one in three batches tested were defective. The paper also said some bathing suits were “too flabby to wear” (presumably more of a fashion than a health risk).

Chinese consumers have become increasingly sensitive to the safety of consumer goods, and Beijing has responded by making its regulators increasingly vocal about protecting the national health.

But they have a long way to go before consumers trust them with their babies, or their bared flesh: comments on one consumer notice board after the bathing suit recall noted that testing swimsuits after summer ends is strange timing. (Another cynical consumer commented that swimwear that failed inspection may merely have failed to pay adequate inducement to the inspector).

Every such story is more good news for foreign brands, though: many consumers think it’s worth paying that little bit more, to keep the “neurosurgeon” from the door.